balm

Tonight after dinner Big took little and H to Best Buy. Last weekend little negotiated a trade. He wants the new Pokemon DS game, one of his friends gets an allowance. I am not sure all that happened but at the end of the day Grant traded his allowance, $38, to E for his Pokemon cards, one plastic coin and an old Ben10 game. This happened yesterday but we didn't let him spend it because we wanted to make sure it was fine with Grant's mom and dad. It is, so tonight they went off to get the game. J took Lucy upstairs to help her get ready for bed and read some stories and S was gone so I went to "clean the kitchen" by way of the computer. While I sat there I realized it was so quiet I could hear the heater blowing. It was so peaceful. I miss quiet. A lot. I wake up to an alarm (not quiet), wake up 3 children (not quiet) get them ready (really not quiet) and head out the door. That is my morning.
At school it is constant noise and little people needing something.
Before I got to my car in the parking lot after school my phone had already rang, it was Lu wanting to talk about her day, and wondering where I was and would I "stay with her until I got home". I did. (not quiet)
Walked in the house kids are home, homework, snacks, chatting, dinner fixing, dinner eating needed to get done. (not quiet) Bills, planning, laundry, etc. (not quiet)

My moment of quiet was a gift.

Today little M in my class called me over for some help, turns out she wanted a chat. I sat down by her and she said "Mrs. U, have you ever had your heart broken". I told her yes I had. She said she had too. At this point I thought it was going to be something about Justin Beiber, who's birthday is today and who's life is celebrated in our classroom by the children. He is a hero. Many girls were sad this morning that they don't live in CA so they can't go to his party. But instead she said, my mom broke my heart.
How?
She told me I can't live with her anymore. She was mad because I left my toys on the floor and she stepped on one so she said I had to live with my dad, and maybe she will come back after spring break.
I told her she probably didn't mean it, but it turns out she's been gone for a while :(
She cried, I hugged.

What is wrong with these people?? Seriously, not a day goes by that doesn't shock and upset me. These little babies deserve better.

I find myself turning more and more to the scriptures and prayer and hymns for peace. Life sure doesn't offer it. So many struggles and heartaches around. I can't even list it, all I can do is try to help, and pray.