count your blessings....

I love this picture. It's the kind of mom I'd want my children to have...if they didn't have me. Their real mom is not so serene, not so "lovely gown and up swept hair in a neat room saying prayers at nightish".

Maybe they wouldn't trade? I don't know, anyway, lucky for me no one is really like that...right?

We are in the middle of what feels like the longest summer. I don't know why. I love summer, and I always dread the kids going back to school. But this year summer is dragging on. We've been gone a lot which has been fun and tiring. The kids are up late a lot. They've been watching too much TV, and fighting, and the pool hasn't been as inviting due to all the rain.

We've been playing 'summer school', not every day, but regularly, and it's not going well. All the kids want all my help every minute. Brother, who is normally most cooperative has been not a bit so when it comes to 'school work'. Hhhmmm, hhhmmm, hhhm.

I feel very conflicted over our schooling choices. I have some fabulous friends who home school and do such a good job. I can really see great things in their schools and with their kids. I also have great friends who send their kids to public school and lots of those kids are great as well. I am not usually a person who has a hard time making a decision, but this one is t.o.u.g.h. I guess technically we have decided, we have bought curriculum and signed up H for enrichment classes and are working on getting a co op together and part of me is really excited and looking forward to it and hoping it will be awesome for the kids and our family. And part of me is just filled with dread and uncertainty. I just don't know if I can do a good job when my list, you know the one, the mental list all mom's have of things they want to/need to/have to/should do is long and often not crossed off. And kindergarten is so fun, and H does so well at school and wouldn't it be lovely to send them off on the bus in the morning. Do I sound like a crazy head swirling every which way lunatic woman? Yep, I thought so.

And we're moving, which will be fun but it's so long from now that it seems unreal yet it's looming there. Never far from our thoughts. I hope our home sells, and I'll miss my friends so much, and our pool.

And I wish my parents house would sell. I know they feel trapped and I will feel awful if we leave and they are here.

And the big girls are growing up so fast, that I miss them already. I miss D, she's busy and happy and I am so thrilled. I miss her here with me. I wish she lived on my street and could come for dinner every week and I could baby sit my grand kids (who are non existent at the moment). J is gone this week and S is working and driving and I can see that they will soon be on their own...which kind of stinks.

and, SHHH, this is a secret...I'm fluffy, okay I'm fat. But I'm really bad at dieting and exercising.

There are many good things in our life though, (and I am not depressed, mom, a person can note things that are not ideal without being depressed. ) For example:

• Tonight for FHE we had snow cones for a treat~ yum
• Lucy is learning to talk
• Brother is learning to read
• We spend many happy hours reading and laughing together
• Millie is the best dog, she doesn't chew our furniture or walls any more; and she finds snakes and scares passersby and guards us while we sleep
• S's new car is awesome (and I am sure she'll learn to drive it...some day :) )
• DH bought me a surprise present and it arrived today!
• I probably don't need surgery.
• I only have to teach my Sunday school class once a week and am not their seminary teacher.
• We have a fun ward activity coming up.
• And H has a very fun birthday party planned.
• And she's excited to be baptized.
• And Papa and Grandma will be back to go to her baptism.
• And Eclipse is coming out next week!!
• and I can still taste chocolate (sorry Joy)
• the food network
• And I made the bed this morning...and I think it's still made :)
• And I love the smell of bath & body works soap and we have some.
• And I have great friends.
• And the gospel.
• And a Savior who loves me even when I forget all the good and dwell on the bad.
• J bought me the most yummy smelling pineapple lotion before she left that I've been using.
• I love, love, love, the central library. Thank goodness we finally paid the fee to join.
• Our new water pitcher is great and having cool water is awesome.
• I'm reading a book I like.
• our front flower beds are looking better.
• all distance calling.
• imaginary friends
• new recipes
• cute little jammmied up kiddos snuggled in our beds with us.
• and many many more, too many to count :)