so, now to the worst mother of the year part of the story.
Lesson done,
everything done,
laying on the bed trying to stay awake so I can go pick up J and co at midnight and spend 2 hours at iHop.
DH was talking with me and saying it was too late, it was the Sabbath, it wasn't safe, she was too young, what about our midnight curfew, he thought we should skip iHop. In stereotypical fashion he often is stricter and wants us home and I am more apt to say yes when the kids want to do something even if it's inconvenient to me.
I was really tired and I was feeling concerned about being out late (I don't know why, I am not normally but I kind of was and I am one who tries to listen and pay attention to "feelings I get" or promptings. I don't always know that it means anything but I try and heed those whispers. So I was feeling uneasy about it and as he was talking I was thinking and feeling like he was right. For the record I usually don't. I usually think, well you want to go to bed and to have everyone safely home but they need to have fun and it's worth the effort to let them.) So I told him I might make them skip iHop.
Then the phone rang, it was 10:30, and it was J. She said are you on your way? No, the dance isn't over until midnight. Well, I was wrong it's over at 11:00. Oh no. I leapt up ran for my shoes and keys and left now knowing there wasn't time to get there by 11:00. (it was at Will Rogers)
She called a couple more times while I was driving and I told her we wouldn't be able to go to iHop. When I got there instead of a car load of girls waiting there was only J and her friend Amy. The rest switched to other cars that were going to go out more.
They were upset. And frankly I don't blame them. I had told them I would take them and now I wasn't. We did some talking in the car and I agreed to go there for 15 minutes and let them run in and talk some more but not order food and we would be home by midnight. They did but really weren't that happy about it.
We came home and J was mad. She wouldn't let me take a picture and stormed off to bed. I didn't get pictures before because she got ready at Siara and Sofia's house; and she won't give me one now from her camera (although I suspect she might)
And now I feel really bad. I probably should have just sucked it up, brought a pillow and slept in the car and let them stay. Especially since I said I would. This ranks up there with the time I told her she had to clean her room before dinner and she didn't so I ordered pizza (a favorite treat) and we all ate it with out her while she cleaned. Or the time I so meanly made her wear lacy socks with her tennis shoes to school and she didn't want to. Only this one was really mean, and I didn't do what a said I would.
At the time I was really really tired and it seemed like the right choice.
Yesterday J was still nice and pleasant but she still won't hand over a picture. My punishment I guess.
Being the mom is hard and sometimes I stink at it :(
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4 comments:
I think you do a great job. If you felt like she shouldn't go or stay out, then you did the right thing. I think we as their parents are entitled to inspiration and you really want them to learn to trust you and that you only want what's best for them. (They want to be trusted, don't they???)
Sorry, didn't mean to ramble.
You are right--sometimes being mom is really hard.
Like you said, sometimes you just feel like something is the right decision to make and you have to go with you gut. Who knows what could have happened. All you know is what happened because you took them home. I think that if you felt it was the right decision, good for following that feeling. But I would probably be mad at my mom too :)
You are being manipulated by a teenager.
She knows that pictures are a big lever to use against you.
Plain and simple. She shouldn't be using anything against you.
~DH
You sound like me and your husband sounds like Sei!! :)
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