THE END

I have run out of room. My blog is finished.
You can now find me at
Too Many To Count Two

lanamarieblog.blogspot.com

Sunday, May 16, 2010

an open letter to the children of the world:

Dear Children,
Count your lucky stars that you do not suffer the injustice of being my child. I am the meanest mom in the world.

Today Hannah told me that I am awful. I keep her "isolated" from the world and ALL her friends have it much better than she does. They get to go to concerts by artists she has never heard of, and see movies that she has never even heard of, and have their own cell phones and wear clothes from stores that we don't shop at. She NEVER gets to watch TV and always has to do chores and homework and practice her clarinet.

Brother is upset because during the summer he has to wake up in the morning and go to swim team, and tennis lessons and he wants to watch TV and play. Also top of his complaint list is that I make him eat disgusting food. He hates oatmeal, and chicken nuggets and vegetables and all things prepared. He does like nachos and pbJ sandwiches but we NEVER have those.

Poor J is not immune either, EVERY other junior has a car of their own, and a nice one to boot, and no curfew and can do what they like because they are so very mature and responsible.

I meanly make the kids wear seat belts even though they are "stupid", I make them brush their teeth with "Spicy toothpaste" the "annoys" them. I make them go to bed on time, get up on time and try to teach them to be polite and responsible.
I also don't let them call each other names, or hurt each other, or litter.

It's pretty sad around here.

I also use them as blog fodder, it's one of my few joys and really the reason I had six kids :)

9 comments:

I have a good life said...

L,

I could give you a run for your money....although with only three kids, you might still win.

But, seriously, I am the MEANEST Mom in the world. I make my kids eat vegetables, clean their rooms, and go to their dad's. I also make them wear seatbelts, not hit each other, and not use the Internet if I am not home. Oh, and I forgot...there are NO OTHER MOMS that ask their kids to do chores. Nope. Not one. I am the only one.

See... we are two of a kind! The meanest mommy clan!

Love ya.

Tori said...

Muahahahahha. Mean mothers of the world unite!

I don't let my kids have cell phones at an early age either! I have gotten them cars though...to SHARE with their siblings! AND they're OLD! and UGLY!

AND I don't buy sugar coated cereals! And I have curfew hours! And there is some music and movies and CLOTHES that simply are beyond the pale.

And they have to WORK for their money!!!!!! The horror!

How can our children ever survive in such an environment?

Yvonne said...

Your poor, poor children. I'm sure Child and Family Services will be knocking at your door very soon ; )

Caroline said...

Can I join the Mean Mommy clan? I may be a relatively new mommy, but here are a list of my qualifications:

- My 3-year-old already has chores
- I enforce a strict bed time and will extend that into curfews when my kids are older
- Davy is restricted to TV on Saturday mornings, and only one show in the evening during the week. There is absolutely no TV allowed on Sunday
- I do time outs, hand-me-down clothes, and regularly weed through toys and get rid of them so as not to spoil my kids
- I limit treats to special occasions which may or may not include holidays
- Daily baths are mandatory, and intermittent wiping of the face and hands is conducted throughout the day
- "Please", "Thank you", and "Yes ma'am" are not options, they're required in regular conversation

Does that make me a mean mommy, as I aspire to be? Please let me join!!

Caroine :)

The two old crows said...

My Trudy got up in church, as she was leaving home to go to college, in a talk told the whole ward what a mean mother she had. Must be a child complaint.
That spring when she came home they ask her to speak again and she told them she had changed her mind about her mother. She was one of a few girls that knew how to do things. :)

Mark and Beatrix Houghton said...

Keep up the good work. You are the BEST mean mommy and you have the best behaved children. They will be mean parents themselves...or so we hope. :)

nikko said...

We are so mean, we don't even have tv. And we eat whole wheat bread. And my kids swear that they "do everything around here" BWA HA HA HA!

Oh, and I make them do homework before they can play computer games or read for fun, and they can only play nintendo twice a week! Such a terror I am!

Amy said...

Maybe you should have the older ones read The Glass Castle and then rethink their stance. Yikes!

PS I love mean mothers. I have aspired to that club and have succeeded sometimes.

The Texas Bakers said...

I'm in, as well! NONE of my kids' friends do chores or have to put their own laundry away! When they come home from school they just throw their backpack and coat on their floor and their MOM picks it up and puts it away. And they get to play on the computer on non-educational sites and play video games whenever they want and not just on Saturdays!!!