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Thursday, December 17, 2009

true confessions

Shhh! this is a secret but a part of me hates Christmas. Okay, hate is really a strong word and not the right one but doesn't "heart" really doesn't do the trick either.

I am not Mrs Scrooge. I love Christmas music and movies and treats. I love the feeling excitment in the air, the good will that abounds, the emphasis on the Savior. I love decorating the house and buying gifts and sending cards. I love getting cards and all the ho ho ho.

However, in the midst of it, I don't like the clutter...and I don't like the "I wants..." and I don't like the stress of staying on budget...or not staying on it. I want to give gifts that are loved and that make the recipient feel loved but it seems impossible sometimes. And I know from experience. When I was a kid I never got what a wanted. Of course what I wanted and asked for for as long as I can remember was a horse and that is a difficult gift to give.

Every year we went to San Fransisco and spent the holidays with extended family and that was so fun. I appreciate it even more now that I am grown and they are gone, those precious memories and fun times. I remember the huge pile of presents under the tree and being so excited and getting nice things. I remember sitting by Baba Olya at dinner and sneaking my unwanted food onto her plate:) It was a cheerful, fun time.

The first year that Dani was born we went up and spent Christmas there, that was the last time...I wish I knew then. It was fun to show off my pretty babe to my grandmother and to be with everyone.

Here she is crying with me and Papa . I needed a hair cut.
It's kind of stressful to have everything decorated and shiny and nice. Lights outside and tree inside, cards to everyone, gifts for neighbors...searching and hoping to make the family happy.
I also want to teach the children to give, to serve others and the true meaning of the season. It almost gets swamped in the glitz...thankfully we have all year for that too. Sierra and I were talking yesterday about how the Christ part of Christmas isn't that different for us than the rest of the year. We always try to think of Him, worship Him, serve His children, read His words, sing His hymns...the only kind of different part of December is the glitter and glam of Santa and the Christmas symbols you see all around.
So while I love it, I also don't from time to time. That's I'll confess that I don't really like kittens either! Who am I?


The two old crows said...

Thanks for sharing.

Head Nurse or Patient- you be the judge said...

I feel the same way- plus knowing when I don't get to all the "traditions", my kids feel disaapointed, so then I feel bad about that-

Wish we could tone down the glitz part. I read a book years ago called (I think) Congratulations Youre a Dad- He talked about his kids hating Sunday and realized that it was because the rest of the week was so out of balance to the sabbath- so they made big efforts to fix the rest of the week. I think Christmas can be the same- too much of the world, not enough of Christ- the REASON for Christmas in the first place.

Thanks for sharing!

Colleen said...

Christmas season just isn't long enough to cram all the traditions and festivity in!! I like the glitz, but it is so much work! I am just now starting my family and my children are just beginning to understand any meaning of Christmas at all, and I guess I want to glitz it up because I want to show them how fun and exciting Christmas can be. However, with all the lights and the tree and the baking and the shopping added to my daily job of teaching (where I have to be all Christmasy there, too.) I am worn out and stressed during Christmas season! I have one day left before Christmas Break and I'm thinking, "AAAH! I have so much to do before our Christmas party tomorrow!!"

Yvonne said...

I just LOVE Christmas.

Mark and Beatrix Houghton said...

Yeah...Too much!
The only ONE really should get a present is baby Jesus on his birthday and of course Sierra :)