Monday, April 04, 2011
My alarm went off this morning and I greeted it with a huge groan. We went to bed around 2 and had to get up at 6 :( I got H up and hugged her and had a short visit in the dark while she was getting ready for school. We had bought her a new CTR ring and she was very excited about it. Then Lu and I got going on getting ready. She told me about her week and her dream last night, finally I went to get E who was warm to the touch. When I tried to urge him to the shower he said he felt sick so I took his temp and he had a fever. No work for me (I know, I really am an exemplary employee). So I got Lucy ready and walked her to the bus stop then came back and hopped into bed with my boy and went back to sleep. (insert sigh of contentment). Eventually he wanted breakfast so we went downstairs and I made some waffles, let our old dog out to lay in the sun and started the day. Now E is laying on the couch watching college basketball and I have a moment before the next load needs to be switched. I had a few things I wanted to say. a) I find it weird that he chooses to randomly watch sports on TV, although I get that it's a boy thing and I find it cute. When the girls are home sick they watch movies, or Dora depending on their ages. b) I love being home. A house needs a homemaker, it feels different; at least it does to me, maybe it doesn't to my family. I like to be here to dust things and wash things and shop and do my visiting teaching and read some blogs and bake some stuff and make some beds. Who lets the dog out when I am not here and the warm sun is beckoning? I miss a lot of important stuff by working. c) I like making a litte money. I don't think I will have this job next year, maybe...but I don't think it will be offered to me. I have enjoyed the little bit extra $$ so I can risk my life flying to Utah, so we can go to Hershey park at the end of the month, so I can get J set up for college a little easier. And really all my money hasn't gone to extras, I also spent a whole pay check paying the winter propane bill and as a result we didn't have to dip into savings to do it which made Big and I both glad. d) I wish I lived near my family. Being with them this past week was such a delight. There is something so comfortable and secure about being with people who love you and who have known you your whole life. There is a peace and sense of well being. I love watching my sisters laugh with each other, tease each others husbands, scoop up each others babies. I loved being with my parents and talking with them. I loved seeing my husband and my dad leave for priesthood session together and then having all the girls go out to Blue Lemon for some def girlie food :), Jose was a good good sport and came with us and he was so funny and cute. I am glad I got to meet him. I love sitting at my dad's hand and hearing his counsel and feeling his love. What a blessed week it was. e)I need to figure out why the older I get the more I hate to fly. It's ridiculous. I know in my head that it's safe, but it sure doesn't feel that way. Last night's flight was froth with unpleasantness but even calm flights unnerve me. It's not that I am afraid to die. I am looking forward to it, not in an I hope it's soon way, I hope it's much later after my kids are grown, my grand kids are sealed to wonderful spouses and Big and I have served 3-4 missions. But I am not afraid. In our ward we have had three deaths in the recent weeks and in each case I felt happy for the departed. Zane Mason was a handsome, spiritual giant of a man who lived an exemplary life. I am sure he is happily at work on the other side. (side note:I ran into Sister Mason at Michael's wedding, she looked great and I shared a hug and hello with her). Vicky Brown likewise was a darling lady, faithful and true. She was trapped in a disabled body for 2 decades and I am sure she is running and jumping and thrilled with her new found freedom. This morning Sandra Rose passed. She has been dieing slowly as long as I have know her, yet despite her frail body she was always cheerful and her testimony shown brightly in her eyes. I am happy to have know her, and happy she is out of pain and at peace. There is sadness of course for those left behind. Particularly in Sandy's case. I feel sad for her mom, a daughter should not die before her mother; and for her husband who will struggle. There is sadness in death, but not for the dead. So if it's not that then what?? f) I loved conference. It was so wonderful. A couple of themes I noticed, welfare. I need to do more to help others. And testimonies are built in small simple steps, daily acts of obedience, one tiny fleck at a time and as we search for the big things we may over look the testimony we already have. Don't look for nuggets, look for flecks and grow it little by little. Not that nuggets don't come, they certainly do miracles are alive and well and plentiful. We just can't base our testimonies on them.