THE END

I have run out of room. My blog is finished.
You can now find me at
Too Many To Count Two

lanamarieblog.blogspot.com

Friday, January 23, 2009

time for the weekly rambling

I say it was so fun, or it was very fun (for variety) a lot. It's genetic. When we were little we would write in our journals together at the kitchen table every Sunday...or when ever the muse struck mom, I'm not sure. Every week Alec would write the same thing.
"I went to Ronnie's. It was fun."
"We played outside. It was fun."
"I rode my bike. It was fun."
It cracked us up then, cracks me up now. Seems like it was just yesterday...and like a million years ago. Time is a funny thing How we spend it is really everything. It shows what is important to us, what we value, who we love. Everyone has the same amount of time:right now. That's it. No one knows if they'll be here tomorrow and yesterday is spent.

When Anna was a senior her bestest friend Charmela's family moved down below (that's Lancaster talk for LA), she wanted to finish her senior year so she lived with Anna and familia during the school week and went home to her family for weekends. It was 'really fun'. I didn't live at home then but I know everyone enjoyed having her there and it was like getting another sister. Our two families are still close, and Anna and Charmela are still best friends :) Anyway, Charmela has two younger sisters. One of them, Ciara, is on her second year living in Africa and working in the peace corps. She has a blog, and writes very interesting posts about life there, and the differences she sees. Including the differences of how time is viewed. Her last post about teaching and lack of resources really touched me. Not too long ago she wrote about the 2 year commitment she made and how that big chunk of time discourages some from serving. I think she's making good use of her time. I often think about how I use the time I have been given. Sometimes I use it well and do good stuff, and parent presently and worship attentively, and study and read and cook and clean and help and laugh. Sometimes I waste it and then I am sad. It is difficult to not squander time.

In just a little over a week we are flying to MD to go house hunting. We are flying up on a Sunday, which frankly makes me nervous. Flying makes me a little nervous always but throw in the Sabbath when I should be at church and...whew! More nervous. I know that statistically it is safe. Safer than driving and many other things that we don't give a second thought to. I know this, but still i feel a little nervous about it. How that big old hunk of metal gets off the ground and stays there is beyond me and is nothing short of a miracle...and I can easily picture it not. Then we had the Hudson water landing which turned out well...but still geese??? That is enough to cause a problem? So with an imminent opportunity for death just around the corner it's made me even more aware of how I am spending my time this last week. I've taken an extra chance to read a story, or sit on the edge of the bed talking with one of the kids when I could. I've done my visiting teaching, and made sure I read the scriptures every night. I have been trying to be more kind, to help others when I can...conclusion: I would probably be a better person if I always thought I only had two weeks left to live :)
Really, I know we'll be fine. Just like I know I won't choke to death while getting my teeth cleaned and I know sword fish won't saw down a bridge while I am driving over it. Nothing a little Valium or therapy won't help I am sure :)

Last night I wanted to go to HFPE. S had one car at work, Beloved had the other at work. I had none and work trumps me leaving to do something fun so instead I spent my time watching a Hallmark movie, (very dumb and sappy as always), helping H with math homework, making apple dumplings. It was good, but I am sad I missed HFPE.

I hope our house sells. It's lost a little sparkle since we first got it ready to show, tomorrow we need to sparkle it up again. No one is looking. I understand. It's a scary time to buy. I don't even want to think about what will happen if it gets to be summer and we haven't sold and we close on a house in the east and have two payments. Did that once, don't want to go there again.

I don't know what we should buy there either. We know what we'd like. That's easy. We know what we'd like to spend. Now to reconcile that in a way that is wise, and livable and long term profitable and resellable and short term survivable. When we bought this house we had five kids and planned on more and planned on living here forever so bought big enough for friends and kids, and in laws and grand kids to come and visit and stay and play. Big enough for a big dog, a trampoline, a pool, a horse, some four wheelers, whatever. And it's Texas so we could afford it. Well, it's pricey and has been a stretch at times but mostly it's worked out well.
Now we are back down to 5 and soon (in a couple of years that I know will fly by) be down to only 3 as S and J go to college (BTW, S has decided she wants to be a nurse anesthetist~ which I am very excited about, and even after she found out what she has to do to get there she is still excited about the idea. She is certainly capable.) So do we want a lot of space? Or do we want a much more modest home? I don't want to have to work, especially full time, if we choose for me to that's fine, I don't want to be forced to though just to afford a big house. Plus my present job, of substituting from time to time pays diddly. Lucy and I went to the bank today to deposit the $218.42 I made since Christmas. Whoo Hoo. I did make some and used it to buy some presents before Christmas. And now I made enough to send J to EFY, after I get paid again in Feb. The deposit I made today will pay for half of EFY. It's very spendy but ToTalLY worth it. D and S both got to go~ two years each. J hasn't been yet so I really hope she'll be the lucky lottery winner. I am glad to have made that. Now I can't work next week or the one after that. Next week because Beloved has a hectic week and can't carpool so S has no car and has to take mine. Hopefully we can fix hers soon cuz two is kind of a hardship (the pioneers would shed a tear on my behalf I am sure), the week after that cuz we're gone.

Hopefully I'll be able to get back to getting a few days here and there soon so I can finance the next extra fun thing that comes up.

Enough from me, Brother wants to practice riding his two wheeler and needs my help.

4 comments:

nikko said...

Re: HFPE -- why didn't you call me if you wanted to go, silly? ;o)

One For All said...

Awwww... that was really fun! I think that I have inherited that phrase from your family. People always comment on how I say "how fun" or "that is funny" all the time. Anyways, I had a great time living there and feel blessed to have been a part of your family. It really was so much fun. It was like a slumber party every night and I love your girls. Cute Dani always hanging out with us, sweet Sierra and her hugs, and funny little Pickle and her silly sayings. It was a great time. I remember it like it was yesterday, like when you started dating Rob and how nosy we all were trying to peek out at you guys. So many memories there. I have driven by the old house a couple of times. I miss it. Well thanks for sharing that in your blog and the nice stuff about my sister.
chamela

Suzanne said...

Good luck getting everything done with all the changes in the future. It's hard moving forward with unknowns. Somehow we all get through it, but I'm sure it must feel like a hectic time. Good luck!!!

Yvonne said...

Frankly, I love when you ramble. (I was going to say "that was fun" but won't ; )

Balancing and using our time wisely can get very frustrating.

I totally understand the struggle with getting the "right" house. Here we sit in a house we bought 13 years ago and after September it will just be the two of us. (Lots of empty rooms to clean ; (((((( (I know they won't be messy but unfortunately dust still accumulates and toilets still need to be clean)
Good luck with the house hunting.

EFY is DEFINITELY WORTH IT.

LOL at the comment about the pioneers shedding tear in your behalf ; )