funny story from DH's cousin

My dear MIL forwarded an e-mail from DH's cousin. I thought it was very funny so wanted to share it.

I'm not sure what the protocol is for sharing someone elses writing. I don't want to say her name because that seems like an invasion of her privacy. So, I put her words in italics. Hopefully you'll think it's fun too.


Thought I'd tell you about a thrilling start to the day in the _________ household...
The day started poorly (or the night ended badly) at 3 a.m. when our 6 year old stumbled into my room crying, "I'm throwing up!" And she was. We had a merry hour of it as the poor thing heaved and moaned. Then it passed (did I mention I was praying fervently?) and we were both able to get back to sleep.
At 6:30 a.m. the baby woke up crying. I was actually thrilled that she waited 'til 6:30 as she has an ear infection and the previous night was up at 3 a.m. (Do you see a pattern here? Actually, my kids usually sleep great, thankfully!)
I stumbled downstairs to prepare her bottle before going to get her. As the water was heating for the formula, I idly looked out the back window at our pool. And I realized...
There's an ANIMAL in our pool! AIGHGGGH! There is a wild animal in our pool!

Now every marriage probably has its division of labor. In our marriage, I am not in charge of wild animals. I get up with the children at night, Kevin takes care of the wild animals. But Saturday is Kevin's only day to sleep in. I decided to be a hero. (Listen for the strains of heroic music now, perhaps from Rocky or something.) How hard could this be? I just go out, get one of our long poles, fish the poor stupid animal out, let it go, and we'll all be happy. Regale Kevin, when he gets up, with my heroism.
I take the key to the gate. I step out into the foggy sunrise. I walk over to the fence surrounding the pool. I stare at the animal.
It is black.
With white stripes.
It is a skunk.

OK, the music can now fade. If there is such a thing, listen for wimpy music. I cannot handle a skunk. I am not that brave.
I go and wake Kevin.
He gets a board, he rigs it up to provide a nice way for the skunk to get out. It has been more then an hour now and the skunk has disdained the board. He or she is swimming around and around in the deep end, away from the board.
The children are ecstatic. They LOVE watching a skunk swim around in our pool. Anything for excitement around here. I am horrified. I feel sorry for the skunk, I feel worried about the pool. I do not want a dead skunk in our pool, but it looks like there will be one soon. I do not want our pool to smell of skunk. I do not want any of us to risk being sprayed.

We tried to find a spiritual parallel here. And we came up with a couple. (Mind you, we are both tired.)
Salvation through Christ alone...

Isn't it arrogant to say that there is only ONE way out of the pool?
No, actually, there could be NO way out the pool. Wasn't it kind of Kevin to provide one way out of the pool. But sometimes, it takes skunks a long time to accept the only way.

Or

Having a skunk in the pool is like having an area of sin in an otherwise holy life.

God's blessings on your day. You can pray the skunk escapes.

God bless, Laraba

Later…

THE REST OF THE STORY

Well, the skunk is no longer in our pool.

It swam, and it swam, and it swam, and it swam. And it really bothered me. I felt so sorry for the stupid animal, trying to stay afloat, no doubt exhausted, struggling for air...my heart was wrung with pity. Kevin tried to get it to get on the board by gently shoving it toward the board with a pool skimmer, but it seemed to hate the board. It wanted nothing to do with the board. It swam.

Finally, 6 hours after I noticed it in the pool, it ended up in the skimmer of the pool. So it had a place to hang out instead of swimming. Kevin, exhibiting great courage, crept over and opened up the skimmer and stuck a board in there. Now the way was clear. There was an opening and a board. The skunk could escape. But it didn't seem to want to. Kevin retreated and watched for awhile, and then came indoors.

We chatted briefly, and Kevin went to look at the pool JUST in time to see the skunk, which had climbed out of the pool, JUMP BACK IN! Yes, we either had the dumbest skunk on the planet in our pool, or it loved to swim, or some combination thereof. So having escaped, it leaped back into its watery prison.

Kevin decided that enough was enough. We could not perpetually have a skunk swimming in our pool. He pushed it under water for about 30 seconds using the skimmer, and, when it had stopped struggling, flung it out of the pool. He tried to fling gently but alas, the water and flinging were too much for it. It is dead.

I feel fine about that. I'm afraid it may have made a habit of falling into the pool since it seemed to like the pool. I don't mind killing animals, I just felt sorry for it paddling and paddling and paddling. Wasted sorrow, it seems, since it seemed to enjoy that part of the experience.

So we have an empty pool again. Miraculously, perhaps, the water is not all stinky. The outside is not all stinky. We are thankful.

We have found bunnies, and snakes and lots of kids in our pool but thankfully no skunks! Yuck!