I have run out of room. My blog is finished.
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Too Many To Count Two

Monday, February 01, 2010

this and that

it is the winter of my discontent,
for no apparent reason.
I am healthy, in fact I haven't physically felt this good in a long time. I had years of issues with chest pain/reflux/whatever/ that was, at times, quite miserable. This spring I got a new medicine that has worked wonders and I haven't had a minute of problem since. Believe me I feel so grateful, the absence of pain is really a wonderful blessing. With trek training and watching what I eat I have even lost a couple of pounds. I need to be more diligent and committed but with the snow it's hard (and this summer it will be the heat...and in April my birthday and...). I am hoping to develop a love of exercise, an aversion to chocolate would be helpful too but I am not banking on that:)
I have a lovely home. I have always loved where I lived but this house is the nicest.
My kids are healthy.
The schools are good.
We have new friends.
Tatum is a doll.
I love my calling.
I have many fun and wonderful things to look forward to: events with the young women, fun stuff with our family, holidays, and conference, and a sunny summer, visits from friends and way at the end of the year Christmas with my family!
Beloved and I have been getting along really well, we've been working on it. That's the rhythm of a marriage I suppose, ups and downs, times of selfishness times of growing and giving. Hopefully the good gets more and more and the bumps smaller... I don't know but right now is good:)

yet at times I am a bit grumpy on the inside, a bit bored. I miss TX and my good friends that are more like family than just friends there.
J is still adjusting to the move and misses her friends TERRIBLY, she isn't a complainer but I just feel badly for her.
Beloved has a job with a lot more stress than he expected.
Sierra is moving, and she needs to, there are no young people here,but I will miss her.
the dog sheds hair on the carpet, and the kids argue and don't eat their dinners and I don't sing a happy little working song while I scrub the toilets.
and I want everyone to be happy and the world to be at peace and all the children to have shoes on their feet and a warm meal in the tummies and a book in the hands to fill their hearts and minds with knowledge and joy.
and there is little I can do about any of those things...except the toilet.

and let's not forget the snow and cold!

Maybe I just need to serve more, be on the computer less and count my blessings.


The two old crows said...

We all get these feelings and it will pass. I know you hate it when people say this, but I'm old enough I know!!!!!!. Smile and be happy, you have good friends here and know they are always here for you.

nikko said...

I don't sing a happy little working song while I clean toilets, either.


We miss you...

Natalie said...

Maybe you need one of those special lamps for "winter blues" to sit under every day.
You are such a great writer. Maybe you should concentrate on writing that book.
I love you and miss you lots.

Tori said...

I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything about coming back to TX. That just makes it worse. We are allowed to have feelings of discontent because things aren't EXACTLY as we want them. We just aren't allowed to make everyone's life miserable (and our own) because of them. And I know the LAST thing you would do is make everyone's life miserable. You have your head screwed on way too tight for that! Sometimes being capable is so irritating! ;-) I feel your pain...

matt and michelle ray said...

Oh Lana, I'm so sorry. It's hard when you just feel off and your not sure why. Usually when I feel off, I know exactly why, I just need to do something about it but it's just hard to get started. This weather definitely doesn't help. We should go walking and we can vent all of our frustrations to eachother! I know that would help me at least. :) I look up to you and think your awesome!

Head Nurse or Patient- you be the judge said...

I am guessing you are having winter blahs combined with homesickness. No real cure for the homesickness except time and new friends *harder for the older kids, I know- as for the winter blues- sunshine and change of seasons- and if you find the cure for chocolate attachment- please let me know- :)

Jay said...

I just cleaned the toilet and I didn't even utter a 'do,' a 're,' or a 'mi!' Sigh. Even when you're in the dumps you are cheerful and make me laugh! You're terrific!

Yvonne said...

Some days it's just hard to put a finger on why we feel not as up as we "should". (I'm in one of those places right now, too. Trying to sit and count my blessings)

Good luck with all you hope to accomplish. I'm trying to spend a whole lot less time on the computer.