How do you teach something you haven't learned yet?

While at the arts festival last week we saw this. It's hard to see but it's a mom and child. It says "To be a Mother is to forever have your heart go walking around....outside your body"
I loved that! It feels true to me. The moment I became a mom I felt like a different person, I didn't know I could love that much, or want that much for another's happiness and well-being. As I've watched my little ones grow I have felt such joy, and also such sorrow.
For whatever reason I have never been a wear your heart on your sleeve kind of person. I have friends and I have fun. But only a few people get really close. I have guarded my heart. Except for the kids. They are walking pieces of my heart and there is nothing I can do to stop the hurts they feel and experience from hurting me too. There is no stopping the hoping, praying, worrying, dreaming, teaching, loving you do on behalf of your children. And so as I think about this I think of the things I want to teach them, what to leave them with at the end of the day, I think about the kinds of people I'd like them to be.

Then I wonder how do I teach the things I don't know yet myself.
For example:
I wish I was a great scriptorian. Instead I am a reader that more often than not gets distracted while reading, and sometimes even falls asleep.
I wish I had a home that was always neat and tidy and at the same time inviting and fun to be in. Instead we have a pile of laundry always needing to be folded, dishes in the sink at least 3x a day and many other "hot spots" in need of constant attention. And if I do get it clean I don't want it messed up so then we struggle with the fun and welcoming part.
I want to be fit and active. Instead a bake a mean chocolate chip cookie and watching people compete on the Amazing Race is my idea of the perfect exersise.
I want to be helpful, not too busy.
I want to be interesting to talk to, not tired and (searching for a word), um, well TIRED.
I want to be always wise and patient and willing to read one more story, play one more mindless game of candyland, explain one more time why we put our shoes away or why the moon isn't showing in the day. Instead of counting down the minutes until bedtime, trying to skip a page here and there and stacking the deck so Queen Frostine pops up early in the game.

I know no one is perfect, but I want to be.

I want to give them the best....but all I have is me, so I try and give them me each day. Hopefully that's enough.