you know how every minute after curfew that your child has missed ticks by like a excruciatingly slow lifetime? First you're just mad, because there are rules that have to be followed for their safety and for your own peace of mind. Then, after a while, you worry. Were they in an accident?, did something horrible happen? that's where I am right now...waiting.
She answered a text around midnight. Where are you? In the middle of a movie, it didn't start until 10:30. Why didn't you call? sorry, I forgot. (not okay, but we'll deal with it when she gets home)
I woke up an hour later.
Did I miss her coming in?
Get up to check. Nope.
Text, no answer.
Call. No answer
Repeat every 2 minutes.
Now it's almost 2am. Is she dead on the road somewhere? ...probably not. Will she be once she walks through the door? You can bet on it.
but Please let her walk through that door, and keep her safe until she does.
(parts of being a mom that I don't love.)
I wrote this last night, and posted it, then took it down (didn't want it to be famous last words) but now she's home, and she's fine and she's grounded for a really long time, so I'm putting it back.
So I'll remember it isn't all swim parties and midnight giggles. but it's still worth it. And I am soooo grateful. and I love her but she's still grounded, maybe forever.
2 weeks ago