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Saturday, August 23, 2008

a poop post

Gentle Reader, if you are one with delicate sensibilities and a sense of decorum that is refined please enjoy this lovely flower. I took this picture while we were at the zoo and my children were running wildly around the rock ring :) Fortunately in this still shot you can neither see their clothes getting mud splattered on them, or hear their loud laughter and the sounds of splat as they jump into the nearby puddles. And read no further.

For the rest of you, who are wallowing in the trenches of motherhood and are not offended by bodily functions, no matter how inappropriate they are, welcome to my life.
As a mom I have run into many situations that I never would have previously imagined. I have also said many things I would never have considered having the need for utterance.
For example:
Poop. It gets a fair amount of conversational attention around here. In it's many forms. Gaseous being a favorite. We even have family nicknames relating to certain members fondness for the passing of. Stinkbomb, and stinkbomb jr, being two of them.
This morning Lu was on the potty and I was showering and getting dried off when she announced she wanted to go finish her business in the lighthouse bathroom. I then had to decree a new rule, whipped out of thin air, but apparently much needed. It goes as follows: once you pick a bathroom to poop in you must finish your business there and not switch in the middle. Who knew I needed that rule?
Yesterday morning Lu and brother were in the cowboy bathroom and the lighthouse bathroom respectively, both doing the deed, and we were running late to H's horse show which I did not want to miss. So I had to call out. Hurry and poop, don't sing, don't read, don't yell at each other across the house talk to each other during, just pay attention to what you are doing and get it done.
Again, who would have thought.

Bathroom usage is a very social thing around here. Which I understand. When I was growing up it was not at all uncommon to recruit a sibling or two to sit in the shower, with the door closed to keep you company in the "library". But sometimes you have to pay attention and meet a deadline.
One last thing. For a long time, when ever brother went to the bathroom I'd have to go in after and often check the wall and the seat and all around for smears. How did that happen I wondered? Are you wondering? It's because he squats on the seat and then waves his buns around the air from time to time, in what I can only assume is a chance to stretch out his legs...I don't know. And from time to time he'd make contact with the wall or the seat or whatever.
I expected diapers and poopy adventures with blow outs, and taking the diaper off by toddlers and potty training mishaps but I foolishly thought that when that stage was over we'd be done and never had to discuss it again.
Anyway, just thought I'd share.


marcia@joyismygoal said...

well after that post i am just pooped

One For All said...

I hear you!

April said...

ROFL!! Oh how funny!! I am just starting on the potty training adventure with my soon to be 2 year old son and I have to tell you that he pooped in the potty for the first time this morning and I cheered and danced for joy,lol!! Isn't it amazing exactly what can bond moms together?!?! lol

Yvonne said...

I can't tell you how hard I am laughing ; ) I have to agree--WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT!!!

SevenVillageIdiarts said...

Thank you for that post. It brought to light many disturbing things about you that I realize you and I have in common. . .ha, ha. . .

I laughed, I cried, and now I think I need to poop. But I won't swing my fanny around to stretch my legs, I am the one that cleans the walls around here, you know!

Oh, and could you please teach me how to do that cool cross out thing on my blog

Rachel said...

That's the funniest thing ever. Oh my goodness!!! I love it and I love even more that you blogged about it!! Your awesome

Kathy said...

So funny. Your brave to post about that!

The Texas Bakers said...

Oh my gosh, I could have written that post myself!! So glad to know those things don't just happen at my house.

Colleen said...

What fun to look forward to! See, and I thought it was strange how often poop and gas humor came up BEFORE I had kids...

That was hilarious, I read it out loud to my husband and had to stop several times to catch my breath and repeat because I was laughing so hard.