woman to woman

Lei and Morning Glory do this woman to woman thing that I always enjoy reading but haven't participated in yet. This week's topic I found very interesting. I think anyone who has more than one child probably has one that is more difficult than the others. Maybe even anyone who has any children at all :)

"Parenting or grandparenting children that have difficult personalities... be they temperamental children or children with legitimate issues like ADD, sensory dysfunction, or developmental delays. Share your hardships, share your successes. You mothers can vent away, and you grandmothers can encourage us to hang in there by sharing your past parenting/grandparenting challenges and strategies."

I have one daughter that is more difficult than the others. She is sweet and bright but STUBBORN and really gives us a run for our money.

While her older sisters were generally obedient, especially during those young years she challenges us and doesn't want to obey even if it's something that is good for her.

She gets hooked on TV or whatever she is doing and has a hard time switching gears.

She also is loud (talks loud, eats loudly, walks loudly, laughs loudly) and doesn't seem to have a good sense of personal space. She will walk into you, step on your toe, smash you with a shopping cart or talk in your face without seeming to realize that she is being intrusive.

So, how do we deal with it? With an extra measure of love, a huge internal sigh (sometimes), a gritting of our teeth (occasionally), and laughter ( more of that is needed).

She seems to need a lot of attention and a lot of physical activity to stay sane. We make an extra effort to plan one on one activities with her, or special activities for her to do with friends.

She doesn't like to sleep but if we can get her to bed early-ish she seems to do better.

Also as she grows she is getting easier.

She likes charts.

She has a special bond with Nana and Abba and sometimes when she is really worked up a phone call with them helps a lot.

We try and remember that if we can channel her energy and strengths to something positive she will grow up to be an awesome young woman. Like everyone she needs to feel accepted and loved. We try to see her talents and compliment her.

Our "difficult" one is like the other kids really, only more intense. She demands more of us.

I hope that she will find something that she is passionate about~ a hobby or activity or something and that finding that thing will give her some focus and help her mature.

We'll see. DH and I feel lucky and blessed to have a sweet family and the children we have. Including, and maybe in the end most especially, for the "difficult one".